My Husband Gave Me the Thumbs Up to Explore My Bi-Side. Now He's Pissed!?!?

Dear Couch,

I am twenty eight and married for five years. My husband and I have always been very sexual and open to ideas and fantasies etc. Last year we were talking about fantasies and I confessed that I fantasized about other women. He was a little shocked but told me that if I ever got the chance I should go for it but that he would like to know if it happened. Well it happened a month ago, with another teacher whom I work with. It was all that I expected and more than I could have imagined. I told my husband about it and he said that now he wanted to join in. He said that the only reason he told me to go for it is because he would like to have a threesome. I know my friend would never go for that and now I am being treated like shit at home and I will probably never get another opportunity to explore my bi-side. Any suggestions? I am really torn between my husband and the wonderful sex I crave with this woman.


Dear Bi-Excuses,

From what you say here, your husband has no right to treat you like shit. You state you expressed the desire for some female loving to your hubby and he said go for it. You did and now he's pissed. Obviously only because he was picturing himself becoming a player in your lesbian affair but by what you say he didn't make that clear at the time. Screw him! Let him be pissed. If he had any balls he would have said at the time, ' Sure. You can 'muff-dive' but only if I'm involved.' He didn't. He was hoping you would go out to some rave and pick up a twenty year old tight ass and have his fondest fantasy. So now he's pouting and you're missing that female action.

The time to explore your bi-side is before you involve yourself in a monogamous relationship with either sex. You could easily be telling us the same story in reverse. We're not Doctor Laura we don't care what sexuality people claim but once you are in an agreed monogamous relationship then that's the deal. Unless your partner is a hermaphrodite, you've selected a sex. Don't hand us this ' never get another opportunity to explore my bi-side' crap. This is the lamest excuse for infidelity so as you can guess we're nixing any possibility of screwing the gym teacher again.

What you can do is have a good heart to heart with your husband. Work out the fact that he did not make his involvement contingent upon you ' exploring your bi-side' . Let him know you will no longer see the fellow teacher sexually. By the way, the fact that the other woman was a co-worker is only going to make your husband more insecure.You're going to have to be very convincing, and sincere, to heal that wounded male ego while continuing to work with this woman. As far as future bi-side explorations, sounds like your husband would still go for a three way but you should approach this cautiously and with much honest communication with and any potential third to prevent bruised egos. For a good primer on the subject, you may want to check out the book, Threesome: How to Fullfill Your Favorite Fantasy.

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