I Tried to Secretly Seduce my Boyfriend in an Online Chat. Does this Mean He's Cheating?!?!

Dear Couch,

I've done something terrible. I've wondered lately if the guy I've been seeing for the last year is playing the field when I'm not around. I assumed a fake screen name and began chatting with my him. He responded and it turned slightly sexual. Of course I can't know for sure if he knew it was me, but I doubt it. What do I do now with this information? All I know is that I feel terrible about entrapping him but I don't like what I found out either...help!


Dear Snoopy,

Well there Ya go! Be careful what you sneak around trying to learn about people. Now you have given your suspicions only enough evidence to keep the little green eyed weasel screeching in the back of your head. Try this online jealousy test to rate yours. You really haven't mentioned what, if anything, led you to believe your partner was fooling around behind your back. We hope you had some kind of concrete reason because if you maintain this type of distrust in your relationships you'll never be happy. Like now. You feel terrible. Well let us try and make what you ' found out' a little less damning.

If the Internet has done anything for the world, it's made sexual stimuli far more accessible to any person on any point on the Globe. Besides the standard porn and erotica there are of course the chats. Cyber relationships have added a new means for people to be unfaithful or to have a quickie with a stranger. Let us make one thing clear here though. We do not find quick cyber sex to be infidelity. The fact is however that many people have developed online relationships with others that actually take away serious time from their monogamous relationships or in worse cases lead to face to face, crotch to crotch, illicit rendezvous. Kimberly Young in her book Caught in the Net addresses online affairs and cyber addiction in a realistic manner and offers ways out of the cycle.

To be honest, which we always are, we don't believe you caught your partner being unfaithful. Quick cyber sex alone, without lengthy conversations of the really getting to know you type, is as harmless as dialing a 900 sex service but in this case you essentially called him. We suggest you try and minimize jealous feelings that don't seem to have any concrete evidence and when you have a good reason, address it directly. Don't sneak about. Just state how you feel without too much accusation. Stay calm and discuss. You're on you're way to a more stable relationship!

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