First My Cum Dries Yellow and Second My Fianc?e Won't Have Sex With Me ?!



Dear Couch,

My fianc?e and I love your site. We have two questions, one when my cum (for lack of a better word) is dry on one of our beds its a sickly yellow color. is this normal our should I get something checked out. And two despite extensive fooling around my fianc?e and I are both virgins. Despite the fact that I insist to her that humans have been losing there virginity for well decades if not centuries she is very scared of the whole getting all in the hole project. We were wondering if you could recommend any good sites or books on the subject.

Thanks,
(I'm sure you'll give me a wonderful name)


Dear Thesaurus,

Your " semen" is drying to a perfectly natural hue. You may want to designate a come towel (for lack of a better word ) to avoid those telltale stains. You could try dark sheets but then you'd have a lovely whitish stain. Just buy more sheets and do more laundry.

As far as getting your fianc?e to have sex with you, what can we tell her? It's not going to hurt? It will probably hurt. She won't get pregnant? Unless you use a condom and a spermicide it's likely and even with those there is a remote possibility. Assuming your fianc?e is ready, willing, and able, the best thing you can do is start the penetration activity slowly. Begin with a little penetration, stopping any movement, letting her get used to it and then either try some more or stop coitus all together and proceed with your usual non-penetration activities. Let her be on top and have full control over how much of you she takes in. Do not try little cheat thrusts to get more of yourself in there. You'll just make her more tense and ruin the point of the exercise. She's probably very ANXIOUS to begin with. This results in a mild form of vaginismus for most females during their first times. What the hell does that mean? It means the muscles around the entrance to the vagina tend to involuntarily contract and make penetration painful. If she does experience pain with penetration one thing that can help is to take a hot bath before future attempts to relax those muscles.

Pressuring her to give up the " in the hole project" will result in her being more nervous so leave it up to her but keep the proper protection always at hand. Yes. Humans have been losing their virginity for centuries according to creationists and quite a bit longer according to the smarter folks. We would also like to take this opportunity to encourage you two to get your sex lives in a bit more order before you make a commitment like marriage. This will avoid your future letter to us complaining about your unsatisfactory sex life which is leading you to an affair.





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