My Bi-Boyfriend's Hands Get Numb During Sex. What's Wrong With Him !!?

Dear Couch,

Just recently a friend of mine finally decided to ask me out. We've known each other for years and are very close, in fact, I was the first person he ever told that he's BI. He's totally out of the closet now and we're better friends than ever, especially since I don't mind if he wants to hook up with a guy ever. Lately, though, he's been obsessing over and chasing after guys more than he has me. I finally confronted him about why he rarely tries to get physical with me, and he told me that before me he'd never been with a woman. He finally told me that every time he gets that close to me and there's no guys around or there's no other outside stimulation (like a movie or something), his hands and forearms go totally numb. At first I was upset and frustrated, but now I'm concerned. He knows he's not gay because he does still have an interest in women, but neither of us knows why this happens to him.

Can you please help us???

Dear Too Naive for Springer,

At the very least we'd say this guy is 98 percent Gay and 2 percent Straight and it sounds like he's used up all the Straight he's got right now on you. Hands and forearms go numb?!? PULEEZ!!!!!!!!!!! Any first year Psychology major will tell you that this lack of sensation does not correspond to the nerve map. Also, given your statement he needs other outside stimuli besides YOU to prevent the numbness is more of a passive means of saying, ' Hey! You don't really do it for me! Let's be friends again.' Obviously you were a good enough friend and supportive enough regarding his ' Bi' -sexuality to both simultaneously develop a sexual relationship and boot him out of the closet. But HEY! Smell The Coffee!! He's Gay! At least enough to claim his forearms go numb while touching you. He apparently likes and respects you enough to make this false claim so do him a favor and let him off the hook. Tell him his 'numbness' is ok with you and you just want to concentrate on the friendship aspect of your relationship. If he still argues he's bisexual, offer this list of Bi-help links, but if he's interested in Gay support links try here.

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