I'm Moving Away For a Couple of Months, Do You Think My Boyriend Can be Trusted to Tell Me Everything that Happens?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. He seemed to be just the type of guy that I wanted... no drinking drugs, past serious girlfriends... nothing that I could hold against him. I was a little more experienced than him but didn't hide it and he would humiliate me about it. (its a long story) recently I found out he lied to me about his past experiences and tried to hide it by lying to my face several times. then he went to a party (which is fine) and had something to drink (which is fine) but lied to me about how much (once again to my face) my whole family is an alcoholic so I don't like to drink and I don't like it when he drinks. then I found out he had been emailing this girl whom he met while chatting and lied to me about her. He only seems to lie to cover his ass but he should know that I'll only get angrier if I find out he lied' instead of just telling me. in your opinion do you think that he will continue to lie to me? I'm moving away for a couple of months and we were planning on keeping the relationship going but do you think he can be trusted to tell me everything that happens?
Dear Blame Game,
What type of power struggle relationship do you have going on here!!?!? ' ...hold against him.' , ' ...would humiliate me...' , and ' ...to my face...' ???? Cripes! Why would you want to maintain a relationship like this!? You two must be miserable. If he did lie to you about how much he drank it was probably to avoid your unreasonable scorn about it. His family isn't alcoholic. Therefore you shouldn't get mad at him for drinking. It's not like he was in a bar pounding vodka shots on his lunch break from work. He was at a party for crying out loud! He shouldn't lie of course but when you turn into a raging 'bunny-boiler' about things like this he's gonna try and avoid it.
The real problem is his little chat/email buddy. How you found out about this suggests snooping and raises another red flag about the viability of this relationship but could be a sign of future infidelity also. We doubt this relationship could survive if you weren't moving away but with you out of town for two months he may find someone who's a bit less angry. Do one of two things for yourself and your future happiness. One, end this relationship and work very hard at avoiding these behaviors in future love affairs. Or two, you and your boyfriend high tail it to the nearest relationship counselor and get to work. By your description of things, it should only take a few years of individual and couples therapy.