Could My Boyfriend's Cream For Genital Warts Make me Itch? We Don't Use Condoms!

Dear Couch,

Twice recently I have experienced a very itchy feeling down below with for about a week, the first time it was very intense, the second time not so bad. I didn't know what it was and didn't have time to go to the doctor to get it checked. I wanted to know if it's possible it could be a reaction to my boyfriend using a cream to treat genital warts? (Aldara) (We don't use rubbers) I have only just found out he is using the medication and was wondering if this could be the cause of the problem.


Dear Petri Dish,

What the FAWK!!! You can't be this stupid!!?!? Let's all get this straight! You've had an itchy feeling you blame on your boyfriend's medication for genital warts and you don't use condoms??! Are you trying to be the poster child for the CDC's latest STD campaign?!? Cripes! Get your twat to the STD clinic now!! The cause of the problem could be the medication or it could be any number of things your boyfriend caught from the same person that gave him HPV. Since you can't be sure your boyfriend is using condoms with anyone else, you should most certainly be using them with him! Nuff said.

Speaking of stupid. You know what's worse than being the CDC's poster child!?! It's being the millionaire-geek-pedophile of the month! Have you noticed the number of high-tech executives getting busted for alleged pedophilia the past two months!! It's astounding statistically or is there just something about the general personalities of millionaire computer geeks?

The media darling for these busts may be Patrick Naughton of Disney's network fame but it started with William Michael Bowles, an I-Beam executive who was arrested over a month ago for allegedly attempting to meet a 13 year old boy he had met in an online chat. Naughty Naughton, as he is now known, was charged with allegedly attempting to meet a 13 year old girl, after a steamy six month online relationship, and having sent her pictures of his genitals not two weeks after the fairly well publicized Bowles arrest. A mere week after this, Michael David Rostoker is charged with allegedly having paid a Vietnamese family $150,000 to have sex with their 13 year old daughter and planning to bring her to the US to marry (with a fake ID to make her 18)! What the hell is wrong with the Dot Com executives?!? Are geeks more likely to be pedophiles?!? Let's see who goes down next!?!?! For those of you on the mailing list we'll start to circulate the betting pool !

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