Our Mothers In Law Caught Us Breastfeeding My Husband ?!?

Dear Couch,

I am twenty four years old and have been married for three and a half years. My husband and I had our first child nine months ago. Here's my trouble... My husband Lucas had always loved my breasts.He suckles them at every chance he gets. This has always been something that both of us enjoy. He'll lay in my arms for hours and feast. When our son was born this didn't change in the least. If anything it happens more.Last week my very nosey mother and his mother to decided to pay my son and I an afternoon visit without calling. My husband had decided not to go in to work that day and when Dylan (our son) went down for a nap. We made love on the couch. Dylan had woken up and decided it was time for lunch. Lucas went and got him and we laid on the couch. Dylan at one breast, Lucas at the other. This has always been a nice loving time for my family.Until the other day. Our mothers came in (without knocking) and almost fainted. Neither of them think Dylan should still be nursing. And when they saw us they wanted to take Dylan home with them until we could control our immoral behavior. They said that we were harming our son. Lucas made them leave and held me as I cried my eyes out. Since then Lucas doesn't join in feedings any more and this leaves me sore and Dylan confused. I know that Lucas is hurting. He was abused by his father and he is being torn apart thinking that he has hurt Dylan. Our mothers won't leave us alone. They have even said they would get the law involved. We have changed our phone number and got a lawyer. Do you thing we have harmed our son.I want the closeness that we shared in back? But don't know how to get it.

Please help?
Missing in MN

Dear M'n'M,

Maybe it would help you to heal from this trauma if you think about it as three separate issues:>

1. Your son: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that women breastfeed their children at least 12 months,and " thereafter for as long as mutually desired" . Breast milk provides Dylan with the best nutrition possible, and breast fed babies have been shown to have overall better growth, health, and development, as well as lower rates of illness. After the first year, it's common for children to continue to breastfeed for a few more years, more for comfort than nutrition, but there's nothing wrong with being a little more comfortable. The laLeche League has local support groups to actively promote the benefits of breastfeeding.

2. Your husband:Your respective mothers are probably frightened of breast feeding as a sexual activity performed in front of your child. If it were that, we would agree that it shouldn't happen in front of your little one. What you do in private (without the baby in the room) is your business. As far as your husband also feeding for comfort, it's a little odd, but we can't think of any better intention to create a close, loving family, and everybody does that a little differently. We think your husband should be commended for fostering the family unit in his own little slightly twisted lactophile way.

3. Your over involved mothers: Where do they get off walking in without knocking! I'd say there were some boundary issues here that don't involve breastfeeding. Remember! You can't spell 'smother' without 'mother'. Try and set some better boundaries with your mothers as they are new grandparents and will try and run all over you to get to that grandchild. Anyway, we're not lawyers, but it sounds like you are getting help with that angle, so good luck!

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