What's a Low Co$t Way to Select the Sex of Our Baby!?!?



Dear Couch,

My lovely wife would like to have another child, a masculine child, to complement the two girls we already have. Other than spending thousands of dollars with geneticists and artificial insemination or as the Chinese waiter told us ' eat lots of peanuts' is there a way to increase the chances of having a male child or should we just keep having sex and let nature run its course? p.s. I keep telling her we need to have sex and have it often to get any children and her moron ' male' gynecologist told her I should save my sperm for one or two shots at a critical time, which I believe leads to ' blue balls' .

Signed,
Anti-Blue Balls


Dear Picky,

If you could somehow self-select which of your little frog-men went swimming off towards the target, you'd be a millionaire. Of course there are lots of myths about gender selection, like the rear entry position for a boy or women on top for a girl. The point is to have fun trying for whatever sex yard monkey you want. So read these old wives' tales, get to work, and keep your fingers crossed. One book on the subject that has many positive reviews is How To Choose the Sex of Your Baby: The Methods Best Supported By Scientific Evidence.

By the way, on the blue balls issue, your semen amount and sperm count continuously increase for about 10 days. After that it levels off for a while then starts to go downhill. That's what your wife's doctor was trying to relate to you. To make sure you have the best possible chances of conceiving, you should give your little testes time to become as fertile as possible. And since you had to use that term, we're going to review it so our email server doesn't get brought down again with 'blue balls' questions. Yes, there is such a condition as 'blue balls' which is generally the result of extended periods of sexual stimulation. It is due to excessive amounts of blood in the testicular area which causes the rest of the package to feel squeezed. It is not a blockage of unreleased semen as many incorrect sources might tell you. For example our readers' horn dog boyfriends trying to talk them into the nookie. Don't buy it! The only thing that will help him get vascular shrinkage to avoid the pain (which is not that bad by the way) is the proverbial cold shower!





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