My Husband Looks At Porn On the Internet Even Though I Made a Sexy Video For Him?!?!

Dear Couch,

My husband continuously lies to me about watching porn on the internet and he also hides videos from me. Every time I leave the house he's on the porno site. I even made him a sexy video, but he never watched it, he said," he didn't know where it was" . So instead of asking me where it was, he went out and bought some playboy cds and hid them from me. I do not know what to do any more. Please help.!!!

Frustrated Wife

Dear Dealing With a Man,

What exactly are you whining about here? The fact that your husband looks at dirty pictures or he doesn't look at your dirty pictures?! If your entire problem is that your hubby likes to look at porn then you've got an uphill battle ahead of you! We're willing to say it even though very few others will, " Males are hard wired to hump many partners!" . Face it! The sexes are different! We're the product of millions of years of primate evolution! Men are hard wired to spread their seed with different mates just like we're all hard wired to eat fat (and you bet we are!). We have evolved technologically past our physiological evolution by leaps and bounds! So we have to consciously adjust for that. This means eat McDonalds in moderation but get that big ass to the gym and men, marry one perfect woman but jerk off to porn to satisfy that multiple partner drive.

Truth is your man could be reacting to his polygamous genes in real time but he's choosing to keep your union sacred and instead is using non-personal Internet images. Where we do see a problem however is in his responses to your need to feel sexy, special, and desired by him. Although we endorse men and women using erotic material for self gratification in monogamous relationships, we think it can be done without rubbing the other's face in it, so to speak. If you feel he's devoting a selfish amount of time to his Internet masturbatory activates and may have a problem, then read the book, Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction.

You don't suggest in your letter that your sexual needs are going unmet. Sounds more to us like you're a bit obsessive and snoopy about this which if you turned a blind eye to it, you'd be more comfortable. Never the less, you are unhappy enough with the way things are to make a sexy video for him. Nice gesture, really. Take it a step further. Suggest the two of you make a sexy video together! Hell! Even have him pick a favorite, TASTEFUL, porn scene for you guys to emulate. You can also try this nifty book, 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun Loving Couples! We're not saying you're not doing enough for your sexual relationship. We're sure you are. We're just pointing you in a direction away from focusing on your hubby's wanking and towards your mutual satisfaction. Lastly, remember this masturbation is not loving, caring, giving sex. It's only purpose is quick self satisfaction so you're not losing anything if your partner jerks off unless he devotes time you could be together to it. Good luck.

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