How Can I Control My Premature Ejaculation !?

Dear Couch,

I have tried, all that I can, mentally to control myself and not ejaculate. I get so excited with my girl that it becomes next to impossible to control. I have read books on how to control ejaculation and tried to shift to different thoughts but failed.
What the hell do I do?


Dear Speedy,

Lot's of guys try the old trick of thinking about something unpleasant to delay their ejaculation. Which it doesn't but they do end up developing a strong fetish for pictures of Kenneth Starr in a bra & garter stockings. So stop using this technique. There's enough ugliness in the world without focusing on it during the most pleasurable thing you'll ever do!

Let's remember here that the evolutionary point of sex is procreation, getting the sperm to the egg, and those that do so more often will make up the predominant genetic makeup of the species. So there's your excuse, your quick trigger is the result of evolution, because your monkey ancestors could shoot their load before the female monkey realized what they were doing or changed their mind and wandered away.

But we humans are more than our genetic programming and can control ourselves so here's your new thought pattern. What you need to remind yourself is that your monkey girlfriend is not going to wander off in the middle of sex (hopefully). She is just as committed to your orgasm as she is hers (again, hopefully) and you don't have to rush your ejaculation. We even suggest having special bouts of sex where you actually plan on not ejaculating.

We'll also refer you to this site for these exercises sensate focus, stop-start, and squeeze. We've gone over these in the past and this link does a good job of describing them. In addition to these techniques you may get some assistance from either Durex Maintain Lubricant or Sta-Hard Desensitizing Lubricant. Lastly, we are going to suggest something we just know we're going to get a lot of crap about... have a couple of drinks. Alcohol is a pretty good anti anxiety medication, just don't handle any heavy machinery other than your girlfriend. We can also recommend the book, How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation.

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