My Wife and I Are Interested In Using Whip Cream In Our Sex Play! Any Problem With That?!?!

Dear Couch,

My wife and I have been enjoying a rejuvenated sex life as of late... trying new positions, improved techniques and more foreplay. I have been wanting to use foods/drink in our sex play but wanted to ask what foods are good for this...and what we should stay away from? Specifically, spraying whip cream/chocolate syrup up in her and eating her out? Is this safe? Any other suggestions??


Dear Food King,

Whoa there cowboy! We're all for experimenting with anything that makes sex/oral new and fun but we have to throw up a big warning sign here!! You should never use the canned whip cream to spray the frothy, creamy, substance into an anus, an ear, or a vagina! A great deal of gas is expelled with the cream and that is dangerous if expelled into the vagina. It's not a frigging balloon for crying out loud! Also you should stay away from VegAll cause that's just gross.

The only other negative effect we can imagine form this type of play could be the possibility of a yeast infection. Only because you're providing a lot of sugars that could upset the vaginal flora balance. A simple mild water douching afterwards should head this off. The vagina, like other parts of our anatomy is a wonderful world full of micro-organisms that exist in a balance. Cleaning, as in douching, too often can result in an imbalance (yeast infection) and introducing little critter food such as sugar can produce the same thing.

Just in case we sparked any ideas in mentioning gas and whipped cream, we'll review nitrous oxide. Besides being used as an anesthetic and a race car accelerant, nitrous is used by many amateur drug users and they call it whip-its. Usually used by the rave crowd, nitrous is expelled into a balloon and passed around just like the office morons did with helium balloons at your last office party. More info on nitrous can be found here but we do not in any way condone the use or abuse of any substance except naturally occurring sexual chemicals.

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