I Maintain Groundwater Systems In Angola and I'm Sure Urine Contains Bacteria!?!

Dear Couch,

I know this is outside of your normal scope - but I was very surprised to hear you say that Urine is normally not filled with bacteria. My work in Africa often includes work with leaking sanitation systems and I know that very high nitrate (as NO3) enter the groundwater system and then change into ammonical nitrate - but no bacteria as well are you sure about this?

I know this is abit boring - next week I will ask about fantasises including custard, old women and a motor engine...

Yours in Angola

Dear Peace Corps,

We appreciate your letter as a fine example of a little information is a dangerous thing. Your evidence against our statements that urine is sterile and bacteria free when leaving a normal/healthy urinary tract is sewage? Obviously you're missing a few key factors when you try and compare your sludge to a urine stream. For starters, people aren't just pissing in your sanitation systems, they're taking big nasty poops too! Poop, as we all know and thus tend to avoid, is full of all kinds of bacteria.

We can see that you're having trouble with understanding this process so we'll give you a helpful analogy. Whoops! That's a big word for you huh? Well an analogy is a teeny weeny little story which has similarities to another story, like the one you're telling, of which comparisons can be made to. Don't get confused now. We'll make this easy for you to understand. The analogy is, a cow. A cute little cow on a nice farm that eats grass. Cow says, ' Mooooo' . The nice farmer, with warm hands, plays with the cow's udders in a slightly sexual manner and out comes milk! ' Wheeeee!!!!' , says the farmer!

Now we ask you. Is grass equal to milk? No. Is urine equal to leaking sanitation system groundwater? No. If you're still unsure about this, just ask any other medical professional. We hope this has cleared up your little confusion and we all look forward to your custard/old women/motor engine question.

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