My Live-In Boyfriend and I Have Sex 2 - 4 Times Every Day! Is This too Much?!

Dear Couch,

My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for almost two years. We live together now. He's 40 and I am 38 years of age. My question is this: We have sex (sometimes 30 minutes to an hour at a time) 2-4 times a day EVERYDAY. The more I am with him, the more I crave him. When we are not having sex, we are talking about it. Is this too much? We have even asked each other if we are having sex too much. We say that we are going to slow down but a few hours later we are at it again. Are we abnormal?


Dear Hump-Meister,

You're asking yourself, you're asking each other, and now you're asking strangers on the Internet. Obviously, you think this is too much or at least you find it to be more than you've ever experienced in the past. We can't tell you how much nookie is too much for you. There are people that have sex once or twice in a two week period and are perfectly content. There may even be those that have sex more often than you two and find that to be their norm (of course they can't walk). The question is, ' when is anything too much!'

The best answer we can give you is the same answer we would give someone asking whether they watch too much TV, eat too much ice cream, or jerk off too often ' Is this activity getting in the way of other things you want to do with your life?' That is of course the ultimate definition of addiction. Forget all that altered brain chemistry crap Dr. Drew shoves down your throat! The point is, if there is some behavior that comes between your goals or ambitions and you are unable to alter your actions to correct it, you have an addiction. Forgive us for saying it, as we are hedonists ourselves, but all things in moderation! There are resources for sexual addiction including, the Sexual Recovery Institute or the book Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction.

You state you're humping the monkey an average 2.25 hours a day, ' EVERYDAY' ! That has got to be taking some time outta your schedule. But don't start taking those twelve steps just yet. You mentioned your relationship has been ' on and off' and it sounds like your live in relationship is fairly recent. Fact is, those stormy off and on again relationships are the most passionate and you guys are squeezing every last ounce of that passion out of the tube. If this is the case, there will come a period in your new stable live-in status when the passion is no longer the glue that binds. So start now, while your irons are hot, developing those qualities in your relationship that will outlast this sexual passion. If it helps, think about the two of you sitting in a mall twenty years from now arguing about whether or not he needs new underwear.

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