Will Sprinkling Cocaine On My Penis Drive Women Wild!?!?



Dear Couch,

Is it true that sprinkling cocaine on your penis drives a woman wild? Considering the effect that cocaine is supposed to have on the human mind, the high and all, and that the nerve endings in a vagina are pretty sensitive, this does make sense. I just wanted to know your take on it before I tried it.

Thanks,
unsigned


Dear D.A.R.E.,

First of all, AskTheCouch.com in no way encourages the use or abuse of illegal drugs in any way shape or form. Which reminds us of something we've recently discovered. Some of you rave attending, illegal XTC using, criminals have added a new drug to the party Viagra. Why would normally healthy young people be buying Viagra??! Because they're getting all touchy-feely on X but a nasty side effect of X is it tends to " knock Y'alls dick in the dirt" to quote a Charlotte cop. We here at AskTheCouch.com, which does not endorse the use or abuse of any illegal drugs whatsoever, were extremely alarmed to see tabs of Ecstasy being sold with Viagra! Come on people! You DO NOT want to combine these two drugs!!! No, we do not have any research stating your brain will explode with after taking these together but think about it! X is an unregulated thus an unknown combination of drugs which varies from dealer to dealer. It is not inconceivable for these two to be a very bad mix, so CUT IT OUT! By the way, though AskTheCouch.com does not endorse the use or abuse of any illegal substance, we have seen some damning early research on the long term effects of minor Ecstasy use so research before you use.

As to cocaine and sex, AskTheCouch.com in no way encourages the use or abuse of illegal drugs in any way shape or form. Cocaine is largely associated with sex because it stimulates the same areas of the brain. While placing coke on the penis, or more specifically at the urethral opening, will slightly prolong the act for the man, it's due to coke's numbing effect. This same numbing effect is what you should avoid with the vagina. If you sprinkle coke on your johnson (by the way, if you have that kind of money you should be sending us a donation) you're going to make her twat as numb as your nose. Our advice is not to waste that illegal substance which AskTheCouch.com in no way encourages the use or abuse of in any way shape or form, on your body parts. Seems to us, but not through personal experience of course, that you should apply that illegal drug to your largest sexual organ your brain (no! not literally! Just snort it!). Did we mention that AskTheCouch.com in no way encourages the use or abuse of illegal drugs in any way shape or form? Well we don't.





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