Now That I Feel Secure Within a Loving Relationship, I Don't Think About Sex! Help?!?

Dear Couch,

My husband & I have been married for 4 years, and we lived with each other for a year before getting married. My problem is that he is always ' frisky' and ready for sex, while I would be happy having sex three or four times a month. I was sexually adventurous in college, but I have little interest in it now. In my mind there are a lot of excuses: he doesn't shower often, we have a daughter who takes a lot of my energy, I'm tired from work, etc. etc. However, I don't think that any of these is actually the reason. I think that when I used to have sex a lot, it was in pursuit of love now that I feel secure within a loving relationship, I don't think about sex.

Is this normal? What can I do to try to ignite a spark within myself? Please help my husband has been reduced to masturbating two or three times a day!


Dear Secure,

Well good for you! You endured sexual relations with men long enough to find someone that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. However you seem to have forgotten the most important thing your sexuality.

The factors in your life you mention are significant in that they consume time and energy that could otherwise be spent on sex and/or sensuality. That's just an unfortunate fact of life in the big city and the reason we always say the best sex is scheduled. You may just be a cold fish, but it sounds to us like you'd like to increase your own friskiness a little bit. We suggest you arrange for a little quality time with your horny hubby and explain to him you're trying to re-ignite your sensuality. Hopefully he'll take this as a hint to be slow and gentle instead of ' wham bam thank you mam' and maybe even take a shower first. If you think he won't get the hint, then spell it out for him. Also get yourself in the mood as well. Whatever works to get your crank going do it! For ladies, we recommend a little erotic fiction and if that link wasn't enough for Ya, try the book that sits beside most women's vibrators, Women on Top : How Real Life Has Changed Women's Sexual Fantasies. If that doesn't get your loin flame flickering we'll have to suggest a little therapy. All sarcasm aside, a life without sensuality is a terrible waste. Revisit yours today.

Follow us on Twitter

website hosting

If you find a dead link in this past column
please help us and other readers by reporting it in the form below. If you know of an equally useful working link please include it.

Get 50% off one item at Adam and Eve
sex advice sex advice column
line.gif (41 bytes)
line.gif (41 bytes)

line.gif (41 bytes)

line.gif (41 bytes)
line.gif (41 bytes)