I Enjoy Playing In the Sexual Chatrooms and Sometimes Enjoy Different Fantasies Including Incest! Is This Legal?!!?

Dear Couch,

I enjoy playing in the sexual chatrooms and sometimes enjoy different fantasies including incest. (Please don't judge)

My question concerns legal issues. I'm not into trading pics, meeting people, etc. I just enjoy chatting. It's my way of having a sexual outlet in a boring marriage without the problems of having an actual affair.

However is it illegal to chat about things like incest fantasies or pretend it is happening? Also, is it illegal to chat about sexual issues to anyone claiming to be under 18? If someone claims to be 17 but is enjoying talking dirty as much as you are is that illegal? I have claimed to be younger or older depending on the fantasy. My thinking is that someone claiming to be a 17 year old cutie could be a 45 year old steel worker.

With the horrible things you hear happening on the internet, people tend to overreact. Are there legal issues that cover chatting? I have not been able to find any legal information covering chatting. In a nutshell can chatting be illegal?


Dear Naughty-Naughton Wanna-Be,

We suppose you missed out on that whole wealthy Internet executive charged with 'interstate travel with the intent of having sex with a minor', thingy huh? His main defense was that he was just indulging in online chat fantasy, and assumed his chat partner was an adult engaging in the same fantasies. He was convicted, fired, lost millions in stock options (which with the current NASDAQ, he would have lost anyway), his wife left him, his dog died, and he is now a registered sex offender on five years probation.

Now we're not 100 sure that Mr. Naughton would have actually engaged in sex with a 13 year old girl had he found one on that Santa Monica pier, instead of the petite, female, very adult, FBI agent that arrested him BUT, WHY PUT YOURSELF IN THAT SITUATION?!?? We're not suggesting you want to act out the little cyber-sex fantasies you indulge in, but again we ask, why put yourself in that situation?

You don't mention what chat client you're using or what areas you're chatting in, but rest assured, they are being trolled by some authorities, most likely the ICAC (Internet Crimes Against Children) task force or if not them directly, some gung-ho, small town sheriff with an AOL account. Don't get us wrong. We're not saying you shouldn't indulge in whatever inbred-pedophilic chat stuff you're wanking to, with a consenting adult, BUT, you need to protect yourself!

It may dull the beginnings of your little online exchanges but you really need to make each partner's identity, at least as far as true age, clear in the beginning. If you can't get your chat partner to claim they are really of legal age then bail on them, immediately! When you do get someone to admit their true age, you need to save that chat session to some type of file you can use to defend yourself in the future. Just in case Barney Fife/AOL comes knocking on your door two weeks later claiming he was your fantasy little girl or boy or cow or whatever. Also, you may want to ask a legal source about your vulnerabilities here as we are NOT LAWYERS. However, this will be a good start to keeping your ass outta the Naughty-Naughton situation.

Hold on there! We're not done with you yet! We're gonna address your stated reason for indulging in these little risky online chats. We applaud you for not having a real life affair to make up for your ' boring marriage' . But you are a wimp for not directly addressing your marriage problems. If you consider this union with your wife boring enough to risk the label of ' online pedophile' , then you need to make some real-time choices here! The way we see it, you need to either take some steps towards improving your marriage or pull the plug! Don't be some kind of whipped wimp that scurries off to his computer when the wife goes to sleep to make yourself happy, albeit briefly. Address the situation! There's nothing wrong with a little counseling in a long term relationship. So get to it!

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