My New Boyfriend Is Repulsed By the Smell of My Crotch?!? Help!

Dear Couch,

I recently started dating a guy who begged me twice to let him go down on me- I declined because I didn't want to move that fast. The last time we were together he did, but just for a second. Obviously something was wrong. I felt rejected, frustrated, and annoyed. I had just showered and have no weird discharge or smell, or anything odd going on down there. He said it tasted strong. I have never had any complaints about this, only compliments. This is a huge problem to me b/c I love oral sex. Not getting it puts a major damper on the sexual experience. We haven't even had intercourse yet (and I really don't want to until this is straightened out because I know I'll be frustrated). What can I do?- QUICK! Thanks for your help.


Dear Frustrated,

The way you describe your impression of events, there are no new or strange odors emanating from your love pouch, but just to be safe you might want to visit your Gyno to have a normal pelvic exam. There are conditions as simple as a yeast infection and as serious as cysts that can cause vaginal odor.

We do NOT think there is anything wrong with your odor (We even scratched and sniffed your email. Smelled like normal monitor to us). Fact is, all women have an odor. Some aren't noticeable until the guy's face is planted squarely where it ought to be. Others are apparent when the panties come off and yet others tickle the nose during the movie date. And none of that is out of the norm!

Advertising tells you all the time that your cootchie should be ' fresh and clean' . Well bollocks to that! If you shower more than a Frenchman, you most certainly are keeping yourself clean. Douching is NOT recommended by us because it disrupts the normal flora of the vagina. Flora are all those natural critters that exist in there and are actually the mechanism that keeps your inner vagina healthy and 'clean'. If you mess with them by douching or even taking a necessary course of antibiotics for something else, their numbers can go down enough to allow the bad flora to screw around like crazy and take over commonly resulting in a yeast infection. Now don't get freaked out everyone by all this body/critter talk. The human body is basically a great big zoo. Even your bed is a free-range ranch for those lovable little dust mites that munch on your discarded skin cells.

So back to your original question what to do about this guy and his hang-up with the odor where you want his nose to be? Normally we would say do it right after you shower but you covered that in your question, so our last resort for the two of you to engage in some meaningful cunnilingus is Altoids. Yup, the ' curiously strong little mint' . If he chomps on an Altoid while going down on you, he's not going to smell anything but Altoid. An added benefit is the unique peppermint sensation this will have on your privates as well. It's also possible that he may become accustomed to your particular odor after a few sessions and not want to use the mints anymore.

Which leads us to our main point for this situation you've described, which we're sure many others have, and will, experience.

One issue we have to mention here is pheromones. As you can see by searching our past columns, this is the concept that everyone emits unscented chemicals which are thought to attract complimentary sexual partners. The theory being that better genetically matched partners will be attracted to each other's pheromones (again, not an odor). Think of this as the reason you were sexually attracted to that person you otherwise find disgusting. So why are we babbling on about this? We believe this to be the reason the same woman's odor can be found stimulating by one man and offensive by another. Although these supposed pheromone chemicals are by themselves unnoticeable, they no doubt are stronger in the genital area.

But we digress. Our point is, you're going to have a vaginal odor and just because this guy doesn't like yours does not mean it's a bad odor. There are probably tens of thousands of men that would find your odor so stimulating you'd have a hard time keeping their faces out of your crotch. So give this guy a chance with the mints if you wish but by NO means take his opinion to be the measure by which all men will judge your snatch.

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