My Boyfriend Ignores My Needs But Let's His Little Chihuahua Hump His Toes!!!

Dear Couch,

I have been living with my boyfriend for 7 months. It has been somewhat rocky, but I do love him very much. He is a decent, stable guy (if a little cold). I could live with his little faults.......all but one. He has this dog, a long-haired Chihuahua. I have never liked small dogs in principle, and living with one has been stressful. Especially this one. He shits in the floor, pisses on everything, yips and yaps and begs for food, and basically gets away with anything. He also sleeps with us.

The thing is, my boyfriend lavishes attention and love on this dog. Much more than he lavishes on me. In fact, I would die to experience the spontaneous affection he gives to that dog. But my little aversion and jealousy towards this creepy animal is now reaching a pathological stature. Every time I look at the dog I wish him death. I grit my teeth every time he is near. And my boyfriend (intentionally or unintentionally) reinforces my feelings by encouraging the dog to do things he knows I cannot stand. He claims that he lavishes extra affection on the dog because I am 'mean' to him.

Being 'mean' means that I don't allow the dog to hump on his foot, among other things. I mean, this little freaky dog would slide his wrinkly red sausage in between my boyfriend's toes and pump away until my boyfriend's toes were webbed with Chihuahua goo! I shit you not. And this week, the dog got sick (of course he's rushed to the vet) and the vet can't really find anything wrong but thinks that the dog was poisoned (maybe he inhaled bleach fumes? the vet said). So now, he blames ME for cleaning the freaking bathroom. That makes ME ' negligent' . So you see my boyfriend is playing me against the dog, and it pisses me off that the dog wins every time. And I grow to hate the creature more and more. PLUS, this dog is his ex-girlfriend's, or was before she dumped him. He paid 700 bucks for this ugly thing because she wanted him so badly (and he is a cheapskate with me!). *I* cannot own my own dog at his house. What can I do?!!?


Dear C.H.,

Let's review one thing here. That's a dog. A small, ugly, little dog with a very small brain. The dog is not winning, you and your boyfriend are losing due to this passive aggressive crap you two have going on. The two of you need to really work on your communication. Actually, the dog is winning too, if he has a foot fetish.

You mention so many issues in your letter, where should we start? You mention you can't have a dog at his house. It doesn't sound like your live-together rules are very even and it's bothering you. You mention that the dog was an expensive gift for his ex but he doesn't buy you things. The dog gets more attention than you do. Listen to yourself! You're unhappy with your relationship and blaming it all on a perversion of nature.

Start addressing your unhappiness to your boyfriend without framing it in relation to the mutt. Get that out of your head! Don't say ' You pay more attention to that toe fucker than you do me!' Tell him you need to spend some time out, such as out to dinner. You should also review your live-together rules since you sound like you're feeling short changed. As to getting yourself a dog, come on, any normal sized dog will have that little freak as a snack. If he doesn't respond to your needs then DUMP HIM (and his little dog too)!!!!

** Note! The Boyfriend's Follow-Up!

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