I Read My Closet-Drag Boyfriend's Email! Oh-Boy!!!

Dear Couch,

My boyfriend dressed in drag for Halloween. He said he'd never done it before. (It doesn't take a psychic to see where this is going....)

Later on, while moving in with him, I found pictures to prove otherwise. When I confronted him, he said he'd lied because he didn't want to lose me.

I setup web-based email today, and clicked to open it, but his Outlook opened instead. After the lie, curiosity finally got the best of me, and I snooped. (No lectures, please!!!) I read email where he says he wants to be a girl, and another one where he said he likes sucking (big black) dick!! And if the emails he's written are true, he's been in drag A LOT.

I realize there's a huge fantasy life online....it may not be true. He treats me well, and he's hot in bed, but nevertheless, should I run like hell???

In Denial (yet fearful of appearing on the Jerry Springer Show)

Dear Jerry Springer Bound,

First of all, IT'S LECTURE TIME!!! We don't care if you suspect your boyfriend of being the Green River Killer! NEVER! EVER! Snoop through someone else's email! Especially someone you're involved with. It's like opening their snail mail! It's wrong! So stop it and don't do it again.

Lecture done.

So your Bo' likes wearing dresses and from his snooped email, likes sucking (big black) dick. What are your options here? Minimal, unless you want to admit reading his email. The best thing you can do is move out. Create whatever excuse you have to, but move out without breaking up with him. Yea, that's a hard one. We'll have to leave it up to your creative senses to work that one out.

Oh, but you seem to want things to stay the way they were when you moved in huh? Too bad! You know more than you wanted to and the worse part is you feel for this guy. If you choose to stay you have to do so with the ill-gotten knowledge you have, create a sexual relationship which is satisfactory to you both, AND keep from saying, " Jeez Honey, sorry I don't have a big black dick for you to suck while you wear my lacy negligee." That's a tough one to fill!

We don't really see any other options. Either stay and keep your mouth shut or leave and keep your mouth shut. It's the only classy way to deal with it. The wild card would be you confront him, which would involve you explaining how you ended up violating his privacy by reading his email. Which would screw up your relationship more than it already is. Cut your losses and move on. AND RESPECT PEOPLE'S PRIVACY!

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