I Snooped Some Incriminating Emails From My Boyfriend to a Mutual Friend???

Dear Couch,

I was doing some maintenance on my boyfriends laptop and I noticed a few e-mails that he had sent to a mutual friend of ours. Apparently my boyfriend was making arrangements to see our friend on days that I would be away from home on business trips or simply out all night. They would specifically indicate that I ' would be away' and some even mentioned how much my boyfriend wished to be ' holding you in my arms' .

I confronted him with these e-mails and he says that he simply was sending them as a joke and to ' play mind games' with our friend and never seriously thought of going through with anything. He says he would never jeopardize our relationship of 6 years. A few of the e-mails even clearly showed some irritation at me because of the :' Coitus Interruptus' I would sometimes cause.

After 6 years I now find that I cannot trust him at all and I cannot stop thinking of both of them together. I do not have any proof that they have ever physically been together, only the plans made via e-mail which I had interrupted.

Am I making too big a deal about this? He seems so sincere when he says that nothing has happened and that nothing would.


Dear SnoopyInChicago,

Yes, routine computer maintenance always involves checking the sent items folder of one's email client. Nope, don't want to forget that one. It's more important than antivirus definitions updating or software firewall configuration or running AdAware to find any spyware from all those free programs. Yup, can't forget to read all those sent emails for a really thorough bout of computer maintenance. PULEEEEEEZ! Snooping around in your partners email is WRONG! Hear that everyone! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Besides, John Poindexter is doing enough of that for us all anyway.

But you did and now you think you've read something incriminating your boyfriend of cheating with a mutual friend. Now, though he denies the act, it's stuck in your head and you may never be able to get it out. Well, serves you right for snooping. But if you want to find out for sure then you're going to have to drop some coin.

Here's the plan, but you have to promise that if you do this and you find no evidence of him cheating, then you drop the whole thing and begin to trust him again. You need to go out of town, on 'business' again, overnight or better yet two nights. Make it someplace relatively far away so that your boyfriend will feel like you're not able to show up quickly. Make sure it's another area code and have him call you so he really knows you're outta the picture.

Now comes the pricey part. Oh, you thought the travel and hotel were expensive? No, no, no, little snooper. You've created quite the Green Eyed Monster here. It's going to take some serious cash to make it go away. For the time you're gone, you're going to hire a private investigator to spy on and record your boyfriend's behavior while you're gone. When you get back, you greet your man and sometime after that meet with your private dick. If he/she has no dirt on your boyfriend then it's time to drop this issue and never, EVER, snoop someone's email again!

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