Thanks to You!, My Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Dumped My Dog In Boiling Water!!



Dear Couch,

I am the toe fucking Chihuahua owner who's psycho EX girlfriend wrote you asking for advice in October 98. Do you remember? You advised her to ' dump him (and his little dog too.)' Do you remember that? Well, she did dump him... into a tub of boiling water! What should I do? He has serious burns on his chest, back legs, and scrotum. Should I report her to the police? Animal cruelty is a class B misdemeanor in TN. Should I report her to the Humane Society? Should I report her to a more militant animal rights activist group who would make her life unbearable until she moved so far away they couldn't find her? Should I sue YOU for advising her to ' DUMP HIM' ?

This message is not a joke. A woman severely scalded my dog because of you (well, you and some sort of psychosis). I did not split her skull. I did not yell at her. I did not hurt any of her belongings which had been cluttering up my house for 8 months. What would you do? You DO give such good advice.

Signed,
Hot dog owner.

PS- I already dumped her.


Dear Chihuahua Lover,

Sue us please! We need the publicity. So, you say you're the guy that lets that ugly little Chihuahua hump away at your foot? Do we remember telling her to dump you? In the words of our illustrious leader, we ' can't recall' but luckily we have an Archives Section, so let's take a look at that letter and our answer. It looks like we told her the same thing we're gonna tell you, quit whining and blaming others for your misery and deal with your problems directly! Then we told her to dump you (and your little dog too). If the two of you spent more time learning from your mistakes instead of trying to place blame anywhere other than yourselves, you might be able to have a stable relationship. As to what you should do about your poor little boiled rat-dog, point that litigation finger in her direction and if she won't pay for the vet bills, sue her. See you in front of Judge Judy.





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