What Can Make the Taste Of My Semen Better!?!?

Dear Couch,

A few of my friends and I were discussing the causes of the taste of semen. We were specifically interested  in what if anything can make it more appealing. One of my friend's anniversary is coming up and he was hoping  to make the ensuing sexual escapades more enjoyable for his girlfriend.


Dear Considerate,

Let's start with eliminating those things which will make semen taste bad. If by chance your friend eats asparagus, he must stop. Anecdotally this is the single worse food for the taste of your ejaculate. Next is dropping dairy products. It is said that these result in some very foul spoog. After this, meats and fish have to go. And finally, chemically processed liquors should be avoided.

What's left!?!?! Well, fruit and quality fermented alcohol, like BEER! are supposed to make your semen taste sweeter. A beer and fruit diet? Hhmmm, could be worse for your friend. Let's hope he can still get it up, as weak and drunk as he'll be!! A note of credit, this info was taken from the often cited alt.sex faq by Elf Sternberg. (As a matter of fact, it is too often cited because all the lazy assess out there who put up FAQ pages simply cut and paste his alt.FAQ! Doesn't anyone out there have any original writings about oral/anal/bondage etc!?!?)

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