You Gave My Daughter Advice and She Took It! Now She's With a Loser! Thanks!
You printed an entry a while back that was from my daughter asking advice whether to dump current boyfriend for the new and exciting one she just met at college her 2nd week as a freshman. Coming from an 18yr old you guys should have taken a little more restraint and used a little more common sense in your answer - see what she wrote and what was the truth are about as close as the earth and the next galaxy right now. Needless to say she took your advice and dumped her boyfriend whom she did not date through high school but only the past 4 months (but she's known him a number of years as a friend) and he was 5 years older than her, through college and looking to settle down when she was done with school.
New guy is no where near her major as she stated and about all they have in common is her money - or what's left of it as he goes through it as fast as he can all in the guise of ' I love you sweetie' ....what was an honor student with a bright future and some guy that really cared for her and was being as supportive as possible for her to get through school has tuned into an 18yr that is flunking out by the 6th week of school and out of control with some jerk that has her running in circles. But she's right and so are you two - she's 18 and an adult now and on this one she's gonna pull her own butt out of the flame, but it won't be singed this time but extra crispy - if there's anything left of it when he gets done using her and hopefully not passing her around afterwards.
I read a lot of your stuff and most of it is good advice - but when you get the younger ones who think that a two digit number for age all of a sudden gives the maturity of many years they've yet to see - maybe some advice to you would be to engage brain before opening mouth and maybe the next young girl will be saved from the really hard fall this one is about to take. Thanks and keep up the good work. Wondering how I found this out - one of her life long friends knew about it and is worried about her and told me about it.
Dear You Can't Spell ' Smother' Without ' Mother' ,
We really think you must have the wrong advice column on this one. The closest letter we can find to the scenario you are talking about is way off from your account. We never told that person to dump one to date the other but rather to let her boyfriend know she was interested in exploring ' this new part of (her) life as an individual' with no other commitments.
But we are concerned about the situation you describe. You state your 18 year old daughter was dating a guy 23. We find that to be a little odd in and of itself but at 18 she's an adult and we can't make too much of a case out of that. However! You state they were friends for ' a number of years' !!!! A 21 year old guy hanging out with a 16 year old girl!! We don't know which side of the trailer park you're from but on our side that's pretty creepy!! We don't know how bad the new boyfriend is, but maybe your daughter started to realize that dating a little closer to her age group would cut down on those Jerry Lee Lewis comparisons.
Lastly, as you say, your daughter is 18. She can make her own choices and deal with the consequences. You're also right when you say that a ' two digit' age does not give someone the maturity of many years they're yet to see. Maturity comes from experience, not marrying it, so let your daughter have those experiences, good and bad. And we're going to hold you to not bailing her ass out of whatever consequences she creates for herself. We think you'll fold and say ' I told you so.' and pull her ass out of the fire. After all, you can't spell smother without mother.