What Is the " Three Eyed Turtle" ? I Live In Las Vegas and the Radio Station Was Talking About It!?!?

Dear Couch,

I live in Las Vegas, and on a local radio station they were talking about a thing called the " Three Eyed Turtle" .  It seems to have turned the entire city in an uproar.

They would not say what it was on the air, because there was no nice way to say it on the airwaves.  People were calling in and they would tell them off air, and air the response.  Now they have decided not to tell any more people hoping to drop the subject.  Seems like all the other radio stations are jumping on the subject but they too are curious as to what it exactly is.  Apparently, Clinton did this to Lewinsky, and everyone wants to know what it is.

Can you help?

Dear In Need,

Yes we can help. We can give you a vasectomy and give the gene pool a boost. Anything can be described on the radio whether nice or not. You are a victim of what is known in the radio business as bullshit. Why, you might ask (with a dumb look on your face), would a radio station do this? For attention, which is what they are competing for. Your friggin attention and every other trailer park idiot that can fill out their ratings log. We're going to bet $20.00 it was an FM classic rock format station that was doing this too eh? Figures.

If you want to know what Clinton did do to Lewinsky (which wasn't much, he could have at least reciprocated!), read it for yourself!!! This is an amazing time, as a President's sexual indiscretions are not only investigated, cataloged, and released to the general public, BUT ALSO instantly available on the Internet. Don't be such a lazy ass!

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