I Have Been Told the Scent of Pumpkin Pie is the Most Arousing to Men! Is This True?!?

Dear Couch,

I have often been told that the scent of pumpkin is one of the most arousing scents to men. Is this actually true? Are certain scents more arousing to men than others?


Dear Snuffleupagus,

Ah yes. The silly ass Good& Plenty/pumpkin pie studies. The genius of quality research coming out of Dr. Alan Hirsch's Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation continues to advance the human cause into the next millennium! PLEASE!!! This guy strapped tiny blood pressure cuffs around guys dicks and made them smell pizza among other things! We can't even give this crap the lofty title of ' pop-science' . The actual smell that had the highest 'arousal' rating was lavender and pumpkin pie but he didn't even try the lavender scent by itself so the whole study is crap in our opinion. But if you're really into this scents and sex thing, throw your money away on his book, Scentsational Sex.

We're not saying the whole idea of smell and sexual arousal is bunk mind you. Quite the contrary. The place to find olfactory sexual arousal is not in doughnuts and licorice but in our animal instincts, pheromones!! Now we're talking SEXY!!! The last time you had that unreasonable sexual attraction to someone in an elevator, blame your Vomeronasal Organ or VNO.

Up until this year, all of this human pheromones and VNO and sexual attraction business has been purely theoretical, but no more! The first real research showing a measurable effect has been documented. It's always been said that female roommates' periods would begin to come about at the same times of the month after living together for some time. Well, two female researchers, Martha McClintock and Kathleen Stern (both in the same city as that dumbass Hirsch) had female subjects wear pads under their arms for 8 hours and then later rubbed them under the noses of other unlucky female subjects. Even though the pads were disinfected with alcohol and frozen before this, the unlucky females had significant changes in their menstrual cycle relative to the menstrual point of the female subjects who wore the pads. BAM! Pheromones RULE! Pumpkin pie is for morons!

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