I'm 29 and Attracted to a 17 Year Old Female. How Will People React to this Situation!?

Dear Couch,

I am a 29 year old single male who is strongly attracted to a 17 year female.  Her and I attend the same church and our families are familiar with each other.  We share an attraction and some interests, but I find myself hesitating in the progression of the relationship.  I am concerned with how people will react to such a relationship.  I truly like her and wish to be close to her heart.  Is there any advice you could give to help me make the right decision?


Dear Desiring Jailbait,

At least there's hope for you since you do feel some hesitation. We'll give you our opinion about the 'dating dog years'. Yes, 'dog-years'. Those are the years between 14 and 24 which are not simply linearly equal when compared between two people by our society's current rules and mores. Let us give you an exaggerated example. If a couple begin dating and they are ages 44 and 34, no one is going to say much about that. However, if a 24 year old begins dating a 14 year old, people start jumping up and down screaming " That's sick!" , and they should!!

We all know that a 15 year old is fully capable of sexual activity, having children (unfortunately), and being in love. The point is that during the 'dog years' we are still a work very much in progress. Adolescence is a pain in the ass we all know too well as we all had to go through it. It's a struggle about trying to figure out how to incorporate this new thing, sexuality, into our lives while trying to define ourselves as responsible adults. This being the case, it also leaves one very open to older people, with their own self interests, appearing to be a stable/experienced person for a relationship.

Someone that is interested in dating a much younger (by 'dog years') person is obviously not an ideal companion by the very nature of their comfort in pressing such a relationship and as our Grandmother used to say, " That ain't healthy (spit)!" . One assumption that can be made is that this type of person is not at the normal maturity level for their biological age. Not to be mean, but not an ideal companion. A worse situation is, the older person seeks out undefined younger people for the ease of control over them as they are unable to have a healthy mutual relationship in which they don't have complete control. Of course there are also your standard pedophiles striving to both satiate their sick needs and remain barely within the limits of society's acceptance.

That said, we'll tell you that people's reaction to a relationship between you, 29, and said female, 17 will be " That's sick!" and/or " That ain't healthy (spit)!" . We suggest strongly you stop thinking about diddling that young church going woman. We also suggest you make a real effort to socialize with some women your own age, church going or not. We feel you may be a little anxious with women in your peer group and the only way to beat that is to meet it head on. If you find this to be difficult, try a little counseling. Good luck.

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