Vaginismus I Have a Large Penis and Won't Fit in My Girlfriend's Vagina?!!?

Dear Couch,

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We are very much in love. However we have a problem. My penis does not fit in her vagina. I have a large penis which I always thought was an asset but this is really bothering us. We have a lot of fun in bed with mutual masturbation etc, but we obviously really want to make love properly. We have done it a few times but it was always painful for her. Can you offer any advice?


Dear Carl,

Yea yea right. We've heard it before, ' My dick is too big to fit in my girlfriend' . Ya know Carl, frigging babies come out of there and we doubt you're waltzing around with a pecker that large. The problem is more likely sexual anxiety on your girlfriend's side, possibly due to you waving your cock around in front of her and talking about how big it is. Not to belittle the size of your tool, but regardless of how big you may be, the vagina is a very expandable environment. A form of sexual anxiety, technically called Vaginismus, is more likely the problem. This is the involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina, making penile entry either impossible or quite painful for the woman.

This is considered a psychosomatic disorder meaning, it's all in the head. Causes often include intense guilt feelings around sex, a past sexual trauma, or the like. After a quick trip to the doc to make sure her plumbing is ok, the best thing you can do is try talking to your girlfriend about sex and any sexual inhibitions she may have. Devote a night to this and having slow, no expectations, penetration. This exercise is not to have sex but to allow your girlfriend to become comfortable and familiar with vaginal penetration. In other words, no humping and no hopes of humping! If you have any success, keep doing this exercise and then start talking about, and moving towards, a night of intercourse. If this doesn't work, it's time for a sex therapist. However, we strongly urge you to stay away from therapists that suggest using vaginal dilators or stretching the vagina. This is moronic and does not address the root cause of the problem. Instead, look for therapists who emphasize a biofeedback technique. This is far more educational and empowering for the woman.

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