Is It Safe For Us to Rub Our Naughty Bits Together ?!?

Dear Couch,

Howdy!  My girlfriend and I are waiting to have sex until our wedding day, since we are both of us virgins. It's great, we are both quite happy and convinced about the decision. Now, we have fooled around with one another so I am worried. We rub (aggressively at times) our " naughty parts" together it's important to tell you that I have never penetrated her. But, is this a " safe" activity?  What would happen if I came (I was close on several occasions) close to or while touching her? What are the chances of any STD's?  Oh, and one more thing, what happens if a girl swallows a guy's sperm? Awaiting your reply, with much thanks.

John N. from Europe

Dear Unknowing,

Congratulations on waiting until you are legally married to someone before discovering they SUCK in bed! You're doing everything but coitus, why do you consider penetration to be such a larger step in your relationship?! You really shouldn't get married without having a satisfying sexual relationship. Remember that most of the religious and/or societal pressures to not have sex before marriage originated to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STD's that were incurable or unavoidable. Things have changed. Now, there is birth control aplenty and protection/cures for STD's.

As to the safeness of what you are doing, yes, you can transmit an STD and yes, you can have an unwanted pregnancy. If you were to ejaculate while the two of you were rubbing together your 'naughty bits', some of the more enthusiastic spermies might find a wet path through to the awaiting egg which will ruin your lives. STD's can be transmitted without penetration as well. Besides that sharing of bodily fluids, herpes is transmitted by mere skin to skin contact. When there is ejaculate in the mouth, that is again body fluid to body fluid contact which can result in STD transmission before the little spermies die in a vat of acid they had hoped was going to be the uterus.

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