How Do Dental Dams Work?

Dear Couch,

How do dental dams work? What do they look like? Do you have to buy a certain kind for fellatio, or are they all the same?


Dear Numb Nuts,

A dental dam for fellatio is a frigging condom! 'Fellatio' is the act of oral sex upon a penis. We'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're talking about 'cunnilingus', oral sex performed on the vagina. Yes we have mentioned dental dams in our past columns as a means of 'safe' cunnilingus BUT, let's be a little realistic here about STD transmission during this act.

Using a dental dam during muff diving means essentially wrapping the vaginal area like last night's leftovers. We've always heard guys bitch and moan about how a condom diminishes their pleasure. Well imagine that same material being applied to a much smaller area like the clitoris. MOST women derive their greatest sexual pleasure from that 'little man in the boat'. A dental dam, is just a bad idea for safe sex and was born, in our opinion, as a means of equality by lesbians during the safe-sex fervor of the early Nineties. Truth is, the transmission of the 'Big-Boy' of STD's, HIV, through cunnilingus has not been documented with any statistical consistency. But there are factors that will improve the possibility of this happening, particularly if the woman is menstruating and/or the muff diver has bleeding gums or an inflamed throat.

That said, we have to wonder if there is a real purpose to the dental dam other than dragging the lesbian community into the ' responsible Gay sex' limelight. You can't provide any real pleasure with one, in fact you can do more with a well lubed talented finger. It's time to give the dental dam the funeral it deserves. While you're at it, bury your saran wrap as well (often mentioned as a quick, cheap, dental dam). It's time we took a good, long, hard look at STD's and how they're transmitted, and deal with them accordingly, instead of hiding behind plastic food wrap!

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