My Wife Tells me I Should be Able to Come at Least 4 or 5 Times?!

Dear Couch,

Both my wife and I were virgins when we got married 7 years ago. I'm now 35 and my wife tells me that according to her friends I should be able to come at least 4 or 5 times in each love making session. I've always managed a maximum of 2. I know it's quality not quantity that counts but is it really possible for men to orgasm that many times? and what's the average?


Dear Two Shot,

Either somebody is pulling your wife's leg or she's pulling yours for reasons only known to her (or her friends are wishful thinking idiots). The average number of ejaculations/orgasms  per male per love making session is one. Guys in general, are not multiorgasmic, although some people say men can learn this skill. Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava attempt to teach this type of sexual kung fu in The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know. We personally have not reviewed this text (how would we find the time to write this column with all those orgasms going on) but some of our readers have sung it's praises.

But before you take that first step towards your orgasm black belt, we want to encourage you to examine your current sexual relationship. Talk to your wife and have your own little encounter group about your sexual relationship. Before you can do this, you have to both promise each other to be honest (without trying to hurt) and to not become defensive. The point of this is to better your relationship through expressing your needs and mutual support, not through blaming and creating poor self esteem in your partner. Good luck.

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