I'm waiting to have sex until I'm married...It's been hard but the rewards have been well worth it except for one concern I have.

Dear Couch,

I'm waiting to have sex until I'm married...It's been hard but the rewards have been well worth it except for one concern I have.  I'm getting married soon and for my fist time I don't want to use a condom, because they say it takes away from the feeling.   Besides we don't have to worry about STD's.  She is going to be taking the pill.  But I don't trust just using the pill.  It's not that I don't trust her taking the pill, but I'm afraid that she could still get pregnant.  Is their anything else we can use along with the pill other than a condom that would decrease the chance of pregnancy?  Or am I just worrying too much for just using the pill?  Thank you this site has prepared me a lot for my first time.


Dear Waiting & Wondering,

Just exactly what are the " rewards" for not having premarital sex? We don't get it. What possibly could waiting until you are married will make sex between the two of you better? The religious factions in our Country have recently been playing up this requirement of their beliefs as being " hip" . This is not hip, it's just more of the standard group think crap that moves organized religion closer to cultism. Are we questioning your religious beliefs? You bet.

" The unexamined life is not worth living" . We don't recall who said that but lets apply it. The fact that most major religions make premarital sex a big no-no is pretty obvious when you think about it. Until recently, there was no birth control thus people were strongly urged not to go around squeezing out pups unless they, and their families' resources were committed to each other to raise it. That is where the concept of marriage came from. In case you haven't noticed, unwanted pregnancies have no excuse any more.

As to the religious right's arguments that sex is not a means of obtaining intimacy, duh! However, neither is marriage, and to put such a reward on marriage as sexual gratification will more than likely push people towards marrying unnaturally. We at AskTheCouch.com strongly believe in having sex, cohabitation, and even farting in front of one another before doing something silly like get married, or more importantly, squeezing out pups. If you need a letter for your priest, shaman, TV preacher, or rabbi signed by us excusing you from any and all archaic religious rules, email it to us at AskTheCouch.com.

As to keeping you from procreating as long as we possibly can, remember that your fianc?e must be on the pill for a full month before it is effective. You could easily use a spermicide during intercourse to help ensure your first great sexual union (which will be the same whether you're married or not) does not result in an unwanted pregnancy. We do however urge you to put off your marriage until you are less focused on the sex issue. Face it. You're letter doesn't say a word about your loving bride to be except as a sperm receptacle. 

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