A Stripper I Like Won't Let Me Help Her Change Her Party Lifestyle??!

Dear Couch,

Wow! Where do I start this story. I met this dancer about 4 years ago. At the time we were very good friends. I think she liked the fact that I wasn't one of those guys that just went after her because of what she did for a living. About two years ago we met again at a huge party that all the bars in my city go to, because it is sponsored by a huge beer distributor. I went home with her, we fooled around, but we didn't sex. I felt like I was using her if I did. The second night she showed up at the bar I worked at, again I went home with her and again no sex. I just thought to myself how much garbage she has to go through in her life and I didn't want to be part of it.

I told her how much I cared about her, I also told her how much I hated her drinking and drug abuse. One week later she's fucked up on coke/ecstasy, and drank what could have have been 2 cases of beer, she also fucks 4 guys in the process. She cries rape, and I tell her to press charges (she won't). I stay over again and absolutely will NOT touch her. I just thought she needed a serious friend. The next day she tells me to fuck off and to not try and change her life. She also starts dating one of the guys that screwed her. I ended up just leaving and not saying or doing anything. I just started ignoring her. They date for about a 8 months she cheats on him, then " idiot me" starts talking to her again. I end up asking her " What are you doing with your life?" and all she does is stay silent.

Finally, I get all this information about her, telling everyone where I live, how I forced myself on her and how much of a violent drug user I am. All of which isn't true (I'm Anti-drug). Anyway, these days she is always drunk, always on coke or XTC and even though there are times when I don't think about her I do upset myself when I think about all the abuse she lives with. I know this story is a little way off topic, towards what your used to, but it's the truth. What's happened to her? Why?


Dear Caretaker,

So you found a hot-bod chick and you went home with her but made sure you didn't bang her so she would know you're not like the other guys that just want her for her body and to drink/drug with her. Well the white picket fence didn't sprout up around a shiny new trailer park for your new, reformed, bride and your white knight self. Welcome to reality friend. Obviously this woman doesn't want the scenario you had created in your head. She likes drinking and drugging and whatever she gets out of throwing her body around. Her problems are a lot more transparent than yours though.

This woman, for whatever reasons, has learned to use her attractiveness and body to manipulate men. Along with this, for whatever reasons, she has a taste for partying harder than the average person. This alone is not an issue and perhaps you could waste the remainder of your life working on her problems. BUT, you say she gets 'wasted' and bangs four guys then cries rape but won't pursue charges, bogus. Add to that accusing you of the above, which we will assume is untrue, and we can't understand why you give a shred of concern about this person.

Are you naturally codependent or is a nice body required? Do you run up to three hundred pound women at McDonalds who are shoving Quarter Pounders in their mouths and ask, " What are you doing with your life?" No! You saw that body and said to yourself, " That's what I want in a girlfriend." Problem! You put the body before the personality! Get away from this person!! RUN! Run Fast!!! And stop wondering " Why?" Who cares why people are fucked up?! That's for them to deal with, not you. Find a nice normal woman to have a relationship with, or, if you absolutely have to find a woman with a problem, cruise the adult diaper isle at the grocery store. A bedwetter would be an improvement over that freak you're whining about.

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