How Do I Give My Boyfriend a Good Hand Job and Blow Job??

Dear Couch,

I would appreciate any advice on how to give a good hand job & blow job. My boyfriend & I have been giving each other hand jobs often lately, and I think my routine is getting kind of old. He seems to pull away in discomfort sometimes, too. I don't know if what I'm doing is overly painful or just uncomfortable. I'm guessing that because he ejaculates so it can't be too painful, right?

I would really like to know how much pressure to use based on which areas of his penis are most sensitive. Any other information you have, such as finger positions, etc.. would be great as well ( be sure to tell me what NOT to do too! ). I don't know how us girls are supposed to figure out what feels good on the male anatomy, other than in communication & experimenting. Maybe you can help on the communication end of this.

Also, Do you think that masturbating in front of each other would help? It seems like the best idea for me, but I don't know if he'd feel too embarrassed if I suggested it. He sometimes guides my hands with his but usually stops soon after. We're both 18 & have had an intense relationship for 4 months. It makes me somewhat uncomfortable that I don't know exactly how to touch a guy, maybe it's an ego thing or perhaps the discomfort is because this is a completely new experience for me or maybe we're just not ready. How do I know?

As far as oral sex goes: Which kind of condoms work best for this? I understand that different brands work for different penis sizes. I'd appreciate technique advice on this too ( I live with my parents so I can't exactly keep erotic books or videos in my home ).

Thanks in advance for your help,

Dear Meat Grinder,

The discomfort of a poor hand job ranks just below getting kicked in the nads by many men. Probably because they won't stop it as there is some pleasure in between the pain. We defer here to Adam Carolla's theory about men and pain during sex. Yes, we agree with the insightful and humorous Adam when he says, a guy could literally beat his dick with a hammer near and during orgasm and not feel pain! But! Getting there is the real battle.

That reminds us. Do you know how much of a schmuck Dr Drew is? The poor bastich was making an appearance in the city of Seattle and took a question from the audience and didn't know what a cock ring was. He had to ask someone! We can't stand Dr Drew. He obviously has no personal experience and his medical training was specific to substance addiction which we always hear when his first response is are you using any drugs and/or were you ever abused. Cripes that's annoying! Don't get us wrong however, Loveline the radio show and MTV show have done a great deal for sexual issues in our culture. Besides, we think Adam almost makes up for Drew. Anyway, try their book, The Dr. Drew and Adam Book A Survival Guide To Life and Love. Now that we have that out of our systems.

The best advice we can give you for jerking off your Boy is LUBE! If you lube him up and then stroke his cock he's not going to complain one bit. In fact he'll scratch his tummy with his foot like a puppy. The problem with another person masturbating a male is pulling or stretching the skin. Won't happen with lube. His masturbating in front of you will not teach you but you may find it to be erotic. We hear that you live with snoopy parents and can't keep any sexual material there but you'll want this book even if you have to keep it in your purse Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. Can't ask for better advice than that.

Now, moving on to oral sex with a condom. Won't work. Oohhh! We're going to catch so much hell for this but we're gonna tell it as we see it! Face it. You're no pro at hand jobs and it's unlikely you've ever given head, so if you expect your guy to come from your first attempt at head while he's wearing a condom, wake up! Get some STD tests, wait the three months, test again (mainly HIV) then have unprotected oral sex. Want some fellatio tips, try this dick sucking site but since you're both pretty new to this we say take your time and do your own thing. It's a wonderful time to have a trusting partner to learn sexual techniques with so don't feel like you have to know how to do these things immediately. Relax. Enjoy.

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