I Fear My Hymen is Broken and Wish to Make Sure I Bleed on my Wedding Night??!

Dear Couch,

I am a female in my early 20's whose culture requires that you bleed on your wedding night. While I am a virgin, I am afraid I broke my hymen during cheerleading practice and have been using tampons for 3 years. Is there any way for me to tell if it is in tack without seeing a doctor, also is there any way for me to make sure I bleed on my wedding night.

Thank you in advance for any advice you give,

Dear Archaic,

This bleeding to prove you're a virgin crap has got to go! We don't know which backward assed culture you're living in but whether it's the West Virginia Mountains or Afghanistan, the lack of a hymen does not equal lack of virginity. Unfortunately you are continuing the myth by giving it this amount of concern. Hell! Not all women are even born with hymens. What the crap are they supposed to do in your culture!!? You should have an open and trusting enough relationship with the person you marry that none of this should matter.

The hymen is a thin membrane that mostly covers the vaginal opening but allows for period discharge to flow through. No one can truly explain the evolution of the hymen but that hasn't stopped cultures from placing ridiculous virgin significance on it. It can be stretched or torn from many activities other than sexual as your flying splits or use of tampons may have done. It is also fairly irregular in it's development. As we have already mentioned, many women are born without one and many more are not developed enough to provide that cherry popping experience so many complete morons expect from their mates.

As we've already stated, if you don't have a trusting enough relationship with the person you intend to marry then a cherry the size of Texas won't matter. Leave this type of 'prove it to me' business to the rest of the trailer trash. Hell! We don't even think virginity is significant to a relationship when you consider all the other more meaningful qualities. When you find a mutually respective, honest, and trusting relationship this hymen business will seem trivial to you. As to trying to figure out if your hymen is still intact, get out your hand mirror and a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves for the New Century A Book by and for Woman. If it's an absolute must that you bleed on your wedding night, simply plan the date to coincide with your period but we hope you'll be past all of this by then.

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