Ending Premature Ejaculation My Boyfriend is a Three Pump Chump!

Dear Couch,

My boyfriend is having a hard time satisfying me in bed. He's a ' three pump chump' . He says that he tries to hold out until I come but it barely ever works. He says he tries and tries but he just can't hold out. It's getting to the point were I don't want to have sex with him any more. I've asked him to go to the doctor, but he says he's too embarrassed. Would a doctor be able to help him, and if not what can he do to hold out longer?


Dear frustrated,

The question is, ' What can we do to hold out longer?' and no, a doctor is not going to help. Fact is that evolution favors a quick trigger. We've harped on this before and we'll do it again. As far as conception is concerned for humans once the penis is in ejaculation can result in pregnancy. It would be great if our evolutionary history required the female to orgasm before contraception could occur but no such luck. Even if that had been the case this letter would then be from your boyfriend complaining and calling you a ' three pump hump' . Are we making excuses for premature ejaculation, no. We're just stating why males, particularly young males, are more likely to come too fast rather than too long.

What you can do together is try these exercises. Start out with a little Sensate-Focus. This involves simply laying in bed together naked and increasingly touching touching each other in sexual ways but not to the point of orgasm. The purpose being to get comfortable with sensual contact and take away the urgency and immediacy of ejaculation. Do not engage in sex during this exercise or stimulate one another's genitals for too long. You can still have sex just not on the same days you're practicing this. When you are having sex you may want to try one of the following, Adam and Eve Go Long Delay Gel or Sta-Hard Desensitizing Lubricant to help him learn a sense of control over his ejaculation.

The other two exercises are pretty much the same thing with a little squeeze thrown in but think of them as the next step. The Stop-Start method simply involves stopping whatever sexual activity you're doing when your boyfriend feels an orgasm coming on. This is largely up to his ability to recognize when the big O is pending before the point of no return, but he should get better at it. Another exercise that can be added here is da-Squeeze. Which involves squeezing that pecker until the feeling of coming subsides for the male. Oddly enough, when Masters and Johnson developed this technique they required that the male's partner be the one to squeeze as opposed to the male. Although it is obvious that the male could more effectively do this firmly yet safely than his partner, it didn't work very well that way. Point being that you should be trained by a sex therapist to squeeze safely and properly (our disclaimer).

We would like to emphasize to you that your ' three pump chump' is not uncommon if he is in his late teens to early twenties. If anyone experiences a sudden change in their orgasmic control for an experienced amount of time they should seek a professional sex therapist. If you would like to get your boyfriend a book for controlling his ejaculation try Male Sexual Endurance BUT before you toss this book at him and tell him to get busy reading, you should try and meet him halfway with 5 Minutes to Orgasm Every Time You Make Love! Good luck and remember to be supportive without making him feel too pressured.

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