What is the Venus Butterfly Sexual Position?!

Dear Couch,

I am curious about a sexual technique called the ' venus butterfly.' It is supposed to be some amazing experience for a woman, however, I have not been able to find information on the topic that doesn't cost money. I am beginning to think it is a gimmick. All I want is to be able to best please the women I care to please. Is this technique valid or not. If so, is it possible to learn it without having to fork out cash?


Dear Curious,

You're right, it's a gimmick. The bogus 'Venus Butterfly' technique began with a reference on an episode of the television show LA Law and since then has been used to hawk everything from strap on clitoral vibrators to sex books promising to teach men to give women unknown orgasms. It has even been defined as shaking a bottle of champagne and shoving it up a twat which is not only stupid but dangerous! We've said it before and we'll say it again, there is NO secret sexual technique! Think about it! With this glorious means of information distribution, the Internet, how could a panacea sexual technique remain secret? The only secret is communication and trying new things. Yea, sounds like the next book to be discussed on The View but it's the truth.

When it comes to pleasuring women we're going to push the old fashioned muff-dive! Nothing brings women back like a good bout of cunnilingus and there's no secret to it. Just get down there and get busy! Let's start with some basics we like and then we'll get into some links for more techniques. You should approach your lover's pussy like you would approach her mouth. Kiss her lips, adore the shape and form of her inner labia, run your tongue lightly over them, kiss those lips with the same tenderness you would her mouth. Don't forget to also run your hands over your woman's body while giving her head. Touch her breasts, her neck, her whole body because she is the object you are worshipping. Now taste the depth of her hole, gently lick her opening with your tongue to embrace the aroma of her essence. Inhale that aroma, it is your raison d'?tre.

Now turn your attention to her little love button (clitoris). This little device is the primary source of sexual pleasure for most women. When women masturbate, they don't sit around with cucumbers stuffed up their twats! They focus their attention on da' button and so should you, but treat it nicely as it is very sensitive. You should think of the clit as having as many nerve endings on that small area as your entire penis. Run your tongue around it, flick it with the tip of your tongue, lick it lightly, suck it gently, and do all of these things in a random order. LISTEN to your partner for what she likes and do more of that but not too much at once. The clit can easily be over stimulated, back off occasionally and return to the labia, and/or just blow gently on her vagina. This isn't a race. You should be prepared to spend some time down there. If your woman is at all vocal, you'll know what to focus on when the big O is coming. Just hope she doesn't snap your neck like a dry twig in autumn in the throws of her Orgasm!

For more cunnilingus tips you can try this Muff Diving FAQ. For some in depth reading try Oral Caress: A Comprehensive Illustrated Manual on the Joyful Art of Cunnilingus. We're happy to hear from a man that emphasizes his woman's pleasure. The honest general truth is that men are easy to please and women take some effort and we applaud you in your attempts to be a good lover. Like you say, the 'Venus Butterfly' technique is a gimmick so stick to what works.

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