I Broke Up with my Bisexual Girlfriend and Now She Ignores Me?



Dear Couch,

I'll start off with a little story and a character analysis. I'm 18 (lesbian), and I am pretty secure about my sexuality. Amber is 17 (bisexual) and she really isn't that secure, in fact, no one knows. Not even her parents. Which sorda caused a problem after her mom found out that we had been going out for almost 3 months. We have been friends for almost 8 months now! But it just happened that we both had a crush on each other for that length of time! Well, after her mom found out, I told her that I didn't want her lying to her mom, and until things calmed down a little, we needed to separate for a while. As in splitting up! We both said our good-byes. And we work together, so it was a little odd, seeing her and not being able to hold her! Well, now it's almost like I have lost my girlfriend, and my best friend! She doesn't even act like she cares anymore. She's been hanging around a lot of her guy friends quite a bit and kinda shoving me off, like I don't even exist!

DESPERATELY CONFUSED, HELP,
Shern


Dear Just Confused,

Let us review ' splitting up' for you you dumped your girlfriend! What do you expect her to do? Walk up to you at work, tell you how much she still misses you but that she understands, and ask you if you want to pick up an Anne Heche video to watch together? She's feeling hurt for crying out loud! We don't understand what gives you the right to whine here anyway. After all, you did decide for her how she will express her sexuality to her mother.

What did you want her to do!? Wave the rainbow flag and draw her mother a picture of everything you two did!? Or was it just a convenient excuse to get rid of a wanna-be lesbian and then tell yourself she was never even your friend because she doesn't talk to you afterwards?! Whatever it is, you're not being honest with yourself or her. As far as we're concerned, an individual's relationship with their parents is their own and not their lover's, especially when it comes to sexuality. Coming out is never easy, whether your 17 or 37. Here's a site to help those preparing to come out to their parents and a book, Coming Out to Parents A Two-Way Survival Guide For Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. She can lie to her parents about whatever she wants and it's none of your concern and definitely not a reason to dump someone.

Face it. You took a friendship to the relationship level and broke it off. Relationships born in this manner rarely can go back to being the friends they were. If yours is to ever do so, give her some space (hard when you work with her) and don't judge her behavior whatever sex she's 'hanging around with'. Especially since you don't have any room to bitch as you broke it off.





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