Can I Get HIV From Giving Head as my Dominatrix Orders Me?!

Dear Couch,

I am meeting with a professional DOM next week. She has delineated the things she will require of me. One of them is giving head to another man. I want to use a condom and she says the danger of aid/hiv is almost nonexistent during oral sex. I have read and find conflicting opinions. All sources relate other STD's are possible. What is a reasonable alternative? I am not bi or gay but will submit.


Dear Not Bi or Gay,

First of all we have to say we disagree with paying for any sexual service whether it's a five dollar crack Ho blow job or an advanced S& M session. Come on! There has to be an S& M community in the area you live in. Get in touch with it!! You can have the dominatrix you've always wanted in a lovely symbiotic relationship. Just because your kink is not the norm doesn't mean you have to pay to indulge in it. In fact we find that to be more dysfunctional than obeying orders to suck a strangers cock without protection. Here's a link to Yahoo's national listing of BDSM organizations. Look for one near you and get involved! We've found that the BDSM community has a healthier approach than general society in exploring sexuality. For those readers that are getting lost in this alphabet of sexuality check out this comprehensive introduction to BDSM and for an introductory text, read S& M 101: A Realistic Introduction.

Should you give a guy head without a condom because your mistress commands you? Truth is, you're paying for this session and you should set some limits even if you are the submissive. Yes it dulls the domination fantasy to put limits on this scenario but BDSM is all about not crossing someone's boundaries, just nudging them a bit. You have to ask yourself if this is within your limits. As you have mentioned, HIV transmission during fellatio is unlikely but possible. Other STD's however are much more transmittable during oral sex. There's no alternative to using a condom unless you go through the standard STD test, wait three months, then test again with no sexual activity in between by your waiting blow job recipient. Not gonna happen.

We say you insist on the condom. Assuming you require the same barrier in any genital contact with your paid Mistress, this does not diminish the power of your dominatrix in her planned experience for you. She still gets to order you to orally pleasure a man which is a power play for her regardless of the latex. For a handy read try, The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People which discusses among other things how to connect with Tops.

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