Painful sex has GOT to stop.

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Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby friedpickle » Fri Jun 24, 2011 1:41 am

(Warning: I get a bit graphic)
So I'm dating this new guy. Last night we had sex for our first time. Great! I got REALLY into it and asked him (yelled for him) to "make it hurt" he complied and really pounded. Gawsh it felt good.

But today . . . it feels like I masturbated with a sword last night. It feels like a razor blade is slicing along my urethra as I pee. I've withheld drinks from myself because I fear how much it hurts when I do urinate. This pain is NOT worth the pounding I begged for. (I hope it doesn't end up in a doctor visit - how embarrassing!)

So now I'm afraid that since we did it before, he'll think it's okay to pound me like that everytime we have sex, and I won't ask him to stop 'cause in the moment it feels good.

I in no way blame him, as I asked for it, but he's such a gentleman that I'm sure he'll feel guilt knowing he put me through pain. Does anyone have suggestions on how I could gently approach this to talk to him?
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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby friedpickle » Sat Jun 25, 2011 7:08 pm

Okay so the game has changed. He has penile piercings, now I need to find a delicate way to ask him to take them out when we're together. Does anyone know if those are tough to take out? It's something he's chosen to do to himself and I don't want him to feel I'm already trying to change him . . . but his hardware caused quite some damage to my software. (day 3 and I'm still in pain)
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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby friedpickle » Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:46 pm

Okay so this is obnoxious. Moderators, I understand and respect why you approve posts before posting them, but to website visitors I seriously doubt that waiting two days is worth using your site anymore. Is the decreased traffic worth checking every post?

I don't mean to sound demanding, I don't know if something has happened in the past that makes checking the posts worth it to you. I respect that if so, but I also want to point out that doing so might also be a bad thing. I'm going elsewhere.
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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby friedpickle » Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:08 pm

Horror story (if anyone reads this). He took the piercings out for me. It started to close over within the hour we had sex. So he bled like the first time when he re-pierced it.

He says it'll take a few weeks to heal. I don't know if we'll see each other again. Sad?
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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby explorer » Sun Jul 03, 2011 5:06 am

Hey! Sorry no one else is responding to you. So... I guess I'll take a crack at it. Just hope I can be of help...

Sorry to hear about what happened. On all counts. Sounds like a catch-22 here. He leaves the piercings in, the sex ends up being painful. He takes them out, it closes up within an hour.

I don't know a whole lot about piercings, as I don't have any myself and well... not sure I'll be getting one any time soon. It's probably a bit late for me anyway, being almost in my mid-30s. But I do know that SOME guys don't like it when women try to change them. But a lot of those guys... are willing to at least compromise on a few things, for the right girl once they've met her. And you never know: he could BE that guy, and you could BE that "right girl" for him.

Have you talked with him about this whole thing? Does he know that the sex is painful for you when he has the piercings? If he does, then at least he was willing to take them out the one time. And I'm sure that he realizes that your worth more than a few silly piercings that most people won't even see (at least, I HOPE most people won't see LOL).

And if he doesn't realize that... then he wasn't worth having anyway, and you should move on to someone who does.

Anyway, hope this helps, at least a little. And don't be afraid to follow up on here and let us know how it goes. Later...


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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby friedpickle » Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:16 am

Thanks Explorer!

Yeah he knew that I asked for the piercings to be taken out because they internally tore me last time, I told him such when I asked him to take them out. I of course wanted to make sure he knew I had valid a reason for my request.

You're completely right, a person who isn't willing to compromise IS NOT worth being in a relationship with.

HAPPY ENDING!! (for as long as those last) For me he took out the most protruding piercing (he has two) and was very gentle with me and I'M FINE! No pain! It looks like we're going to get a healthy sex life!

Next up: he hates to cuddle. Ick. To me, cuddling is more intimate and bonding than sex.It wouldn't be too demanding to ask for a compromise on cuddle time, would it? I know he gets hot easy so I may hold off on tackling this until fall/winter.
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Re: Painful sex has GOT to stop.

Postby Tuxie » Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:26 am

Awww... sorry to hear about the non-cuddling issue. I agree with you, it is very important.

As far as reduced traffic here... yeah, it's certainly slowed from the past. But hey... I'm thankful for the ones that are here! :D
"... and still they lead me back, to the long winding road" ~ P. McCartney
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