Problems With Fiance's Daughter

[CarylMarky0809]

ive been divorced for almost five years now. but i met somebody about a year ago and we just got engaged. it was a tough four years but things are looking up. but there's one major issue. howie's daughter is giving me a lot of flack and its gotten worse since we got engaged and we saw here tonight for new years eve and there were more digs. here's the thing. she's my age! howie is 24 years older than me. there's some hisotry here. we went to high school together. we weren't friends. tontally different crowd. there was no dislike between us. but we werent friends. do you think the age difference is odd? i dont. he makes me happy. i just dont know what to do about her. i dont want to come between them. but she is pushing me. he has said some nasty things. do you think she doesnt lke the fact that im her age. most of her nastiness, but not all, is about $. this may not sound so good on the surface. my divorce nearly destroyed me financailly. i had a son with him and he basically just disappeared. i was in MAJOR debt. she knew that to an extent. howie completely bailed me out. i didnt ask him to do that. honestly i did not. he wanted to do it. she doesn't know all those details. but i think she thinks her dads' $ is her $ and that im somehow stealing her share. you think her fathers $ is her $? here's my basic question: do i continue to take the high road. or do I act like a bitch. since she thinks i am anyway. if i wanted to, i could prolly make her life miserable.

[Starshine]

Sadly, you don't sound mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone right now and certainly not in a relationship with a man who is 24 years older and who has a daughter your age. I base my statement on you asking if you should be a bitch since she thinks you are anyway and that you could probably make her life miserable, if you wanted to. Why on earth would you want to do either?

Howie is her father; she is his daughter. You would not be wise to attempt to destroy that relationship.

Howie's money is his, to do with as he pleases. However, I'm sure she resents him bailing you out. I wonder why you let him bail you out. Maybe you didn't ask him to bail you out but you took the money. Could you not stand on your own two feet and get out of the financial mess on your own?

I also wonder what Howie is doing with a woman who is his daughter's age. If he is a rescuer (and it appears that he may be) he may well find someone else to rescue. It makes him feel good, it gives him a purpose.

This doesn't feel right to me. If you were independent and didn't need him and he didn't seem to need to rescue you, that might be different. But needs change and when they do, relationships based on them usually fall apart.

[Emma]

That is a a fabulous answer Star!
I have nothing to add really, but agree with Starshine 100%.

[Starshine]

Hi Emma,

Thanks...hope things are going well with you. I guess she didn't like or agree with anything I said and hasn't been back since; funny how that happens.

Hugs,
Mama Star